These entries are in no particular order ... And they are growing in number all the time!

The biggest and brightest star shining in my hall of fame is that of my husband Mark Kamstra. He has gone beyond the call of duty in standing by me through this ordeal. He has gently stroked by back as I threw up in the night, he has patiently prepared meals to the painstaking specifications of someone living with "chemo-mouth", he has accompanied me to countless medical procedures, he has supported me through the ups and downs of my developing medical condition, he has patiently supported my pursuit to find things in life I can feel passionate about (other than him)! He makes me laugh, he cries with me. He is my best friend, and I love him.

During the week of waiting for confirmation of the Hodgkin's recurrence, Nathalie Moyen and Jim Storey spent an entire Saturday cooking yummy vegan meals for Mark and me. Okay, they had a little fun chattering with each other, and they drank a bit of wine, but their kindness made our lives a lot easier for weeks to come. We ended up with all kinds of organic goodies stocking our pantry, fridge, and freezer: Nat's famous guacamole (who ever would have guessed it contains green peas?!), refried beans, hot habenero salsa, veggie filling for burritos, blue corn chips, multiple servings of 2 bean gumbo, puttanesca sauce for penne, yam and corn soup (yum!), spinach salad with sesame dressing, ... Mmmmmmmm. Nathalie also ran some helpful errands for us at the shopping mall. When I was first diagnosed she also sent me a bunch of books about coping with cancer from where she was staying in Toronto. Jim recently lended us some excellent Loreena McKennitt CDs! And when I was first diagnosed, he took care of the cumbersome task of notifying people around UBC about my hospitalization. During our trips to Hawaii and to Tofino, he took the important role of caretaker for our cat and home. The princess of a cat didn't even seem to miss us while we were gone!

Jim Storey's Mom, Bonnie Storey, whom I've never even met in person, has been a great source of inspiration to me. When she learned about my relapse through her son, she asked to be on the distribution list to receive my mail-outs. She contacted me to let me know she would like to do some Therapeutic Touch from a distance, with some colleagues of hers who also do that healing work. She and several other women gathered one snowy, sunny Ontario day to have a healing circle in my honour (and for two other women who face challenges right now). She described by email the way the circle transpired, and I felt really touched. I am very lucky to be the recipient of such love and attention. What kindness. Bonnie continues to keep my name in healing circles, meditations, and prayer groups.

During the 8 months of chemotherapy for my first bout with Hodgkin's, Mary Kelly and Keith Freeland cooked all kinds of delicious vegan meals for us. They did this every two weeks for several months, timing the deliveries according to my chemotherapy schedule. At the time of care-package deliveries, we even got to visit with their sweet little boy Terry. They also brought us a care package when I was first diagnosed, filled with food for the mind, soul, and body (lots and lots of goodies). And when my treatment was finished, they sent us another care package filled with foods to help us celebrate! Now they are living in Calgary, and we miss them terribly, but we still get all kinds of funny updates about Terry's addiction to trains. Thanksgivings aren't the same without them: while they lived in Vancouver, Thanksgiving potlucks at their place were a regular tradition.

For my first bone marrow biopsy in December 1996, Lis Smith came and helped distract my mind from the procedure. We talked about a beautiful garden in my grandparents' yard in Denmark, and she stroked my feet to help calm my nerves. Because one of the nurses told me I had "cold feet", she brought me slippers (hand-made by a Non-Hodgkin's survivor named Jackie Osborne who is in her 80's). I didn't tell Lis my feet weren't literally cold; I was just nervous. (I loved the slippers; they served double duty in fixing cold feet!) Lis offered additional support during my treatment, by making up personalized relaxation tapes to help calm my nerves and guide my spirit. Lis and her husband Anthony also lent us their beautiful home in Galiano for a summer holiday getaway in June. That place is like paradise. We were so grateful to be invited into their cherished space.

More about Jackie Osborne ... She has knit over 500 pairs of slippers like the ones Lis gave to me, and she plans to keep going until she has made a million (in spite of eyesight that is getting weaker). Those slippers are happily used by cancer surivors in relaxation groups all over the province. Jackie is a phenomenal woman who expressed great excitement when she discovered I had completed my PhD while in the midst of chemo treatment. She offered me new slippers to keep my feet warm during my hospital stay (but I didn't need new ones, because my original pair are so well made that they are in fine shape after many wearings).

As I sat in the hospital bed awaiting my second bone marrow biopsy in December 1997, Kathryn Nicholson arrived unexpectedly! She sang to me with her beautiful voice, and she stroked my hands and feet to calm me down. She actually managed to get me humming while the needle aspiration was taking place! Quite phenomenal! Kathryn is a music therapist at the BC Cancer Agency, and each week she brings her voice, her instruments, and her love to the relaxation support group meetings. There she uses her beautiful music to help people living with cancer to unwind for a while.

Darline Miller is a volunteer at the BC Cancer Agency who does Therapeutic Touch (TT). She kindly came with me to the cancer agency on several occasions to help technicians coax my veins out of hiding (for the IV) so I could have CT scans and chemotherapy. After veins have been exposed to as much chemo as mine have seen, they get a little gun-shy! Mae Spear has done lots of wonderful TT on me as well over the past year. I know for a fact that those two made the final years of Russell Kelly's life a lot more bearable. He loved their company and their TT.

My mom, Randi, is never too shy to come over and help us scrub floors and do other cleaning to help make our home more liveable. She calls to see if we need supplies when she's making a trip to the store, and she checks in with us regularly just to touch base. She has also provided me with lots of emotional support over the years. What a great mom. She has also given me lots of jammies so I can lounge about in comfort, and she has brought us oodles of fresh flowers!

My brother, Trevor, helped us find a new place to live and helped us move when I first started chemo back in December 1996. Without his help, who knows where we might have ended up living. And the move would have been almost impossible without his gracious help. I was grateful when h picked me up from chemo when no one else could, and he and made sure I made my way safely home to bed. He has also been very concerned and helpful in many other ways (far too many to list!).

I've known Shannon Linegar since we were both ten-year-olds attending horse-camp in Aldergrove. We didn't meet again until we were in the same grade 8 homeroom class, but we've been friends ever since. When I was first diagnosed, she lent me her portable CD player and a bunch of hats (which she didn't get back for months and months)! Shannon also came to our aide when we suddenly had to move at the end of 1996. She eagerly and happily responded to a last-minute plea for help when we realized we needed extra hands for scrubbing and such. She has been a great listener, and when I finished chemo she gave me a big beautiful flower vase in celebration! As I type right now, I have glowing by my side an angel candlestick holder. Also on the angel theme, she gave me a small cloth angel to lovingly keep watch over me while it hangs from an IV drip. Now that I'm about to have the transplant, Shannon has lent me her portable CD player (again)! She also gave us a great Enya CD for hours and hours of listening pleasure.

The facilitators and participants of Callanish Healing Retreats have really changed my life. Linda, Dianne, Gayle, Carmen, Patrice, Ann, Shaune (my room-mate at the retreat, who has since died), Daphne, Gilly, Janie, Madhuri, Betsy, Karen, and Kathy, have been like my guardian angels ever since we first met.

When I was first diagnosed, I stumbled across the Hodgkin's Disease mailing list, generously developed and funded by Peter Guethlein (a survivor himself). The participants of that mailing list have helped me through some dark times, by providing endless information, laughs, and emotional support. I have made some very, very good friends through that mailing list. A few of the many who were especially helpful include Christina, Paul, Pam, Kate, Nelson, Sheri, Gene, Li, Tammy, Gene (father of Lauren), Jane, Sam, William (father of Jason), Leslie, Kathy M., Kathy F., Mark, Gwen, Lisa, Tom, Tim, Mary, Wendy, Steve, Kimbra, James, Christi, Zoubeida, Linda, Marcia, Richard, Keith, Elizabeth, Betsy, John, and Debbie. I am sure I have left tons of people out; I'm sorry!

Fellow participants at the BC Cancer Agency's relaxation group have provided amazing support to me since I first started attending in December 1996. Some members have since died, including Russell, Sonya, Len, Gloria, and Sally. Other members continue to be a weekly source of inspiration to me. All of these people have helped me come to terms with cancer in ways that are immeasurable -- I will always be grateful. (Russell, in particular, became a very dear friend before he died, and he taught me that it is possible to die with amazing grace and dignity.)

There is an amazing thoracic surgeon running the soon-to-open Interior BC Cancer Agency up in Kelowna: Doctor Bill Nelems. He started attending the BC Cancer Agency relaxation groups of which I am a member, back when we was completing his MA in counselling (like this man didn't have enough credentials)! He is one of the most charismatic and compassionate people I have ever met. When he walks into a room, he touches everyone (metaphorically, and also sometimes even by the hand!). He spent many, many hours counselling me one-on-one when I was undergoing chemotherapy. He helped me understand a lot about my own life and my own priorities. He helped me find a new sense of purpose in surviving cancer. He is a truly amazing and gifted human.

Doctor Barbara Melosky might be the best oncologist on the planet. Last year when I rebelliously (and temporarily) stopped chemotherapy, she told me I would give her grey hair. And as she left the examination room that day, she said "Tonight, I'm gonna need a drink!" which truly reflected how much my actions impacted on her emotional well-being. She has shown love and understanding in the way she has guided me through my treatment. I feel that in her, I have a friend and an ally. She never tires of my probing questions, and she pays me the highest compliment when she says she would behave just like I do if she were the one with cancer.

My family physician, Doctor Janet Franiek has been immensely helpful in overseeing my treatment and in providing a strong shoulder to lean upon. She is a wonderful doctor -- I wish everyone could go see her!

One of my dearest friends, Julia Wells has provided love and support from across the miles where she lives in Ottawa. When she found out about my initial diagnosis, she mailed me a great book (Close to the Bone by Jean Shinoda Bolen) and some beautiful turquoise healing stone earrings. This year, upon news of my recurrence, she brought me a beautiful stone pendant with an image of a dragon on one side and an anchor on the other. This richly symbolic piece will continue to provide me with comfort and protection even after she returns to Ottawa. (The images I draw from these gifts are profound.) Julia has been a terrific listener through the years of our friendship. This past September (1997) she, her husband Lauch, and their baby boy Jack graciously hosted me during a weekend visit to their Ottawa home. We took a great drive through the Gatineaux and had fun eating, laughing, and catching up.

When my aunt Carol heard about my relapse, she put me in touch with a friend of hers whom I had never met (also named Carol) in England, with whom I spent many hours on the phone. This stranger helped me to better understand the meaning of illness in my life, and she reminded me of my passionate will and determination to live. The rest of my family in England (my uncle George, and my cousins Anna, Alex, Laura, and Julia) have all provided great emotional support to me as well. They often tell me how much they care for me, and I feel their love from across the Atlantic. I can feel my late father's influence through the caring words of my uncle George.

My cousin Tina Michaelsen has been very supportive to me during my treatment. She gave me the book "Chicken Soup for the Surviving Soul" when I was first diagnosed, and she has sent lots of love and healing vibes my way. She and I have always been close cousins. Just recently, she sent me a beautiful gold guardian angel for me to wear around my neck. I love it! On top of all that, about a week before my hospital admission for the bone marrow transplant, she flew up to Vancouver (from San Diego) for a 2-day visit! Although I wasn't feeling my best, we had a wonderful time together. And amazingly, the weather was great! During her stay, Tina gave me some "bath bombs" to help me relax in the tub, and she also gave me some hilarious boxing gloves so I can "Keep fighting the good fight"! The rest of the Michaelsens down in San Diego, Tina's partner Tom, my aunt Helle, my cousin Lars, and Lars' daughter Shoshanna, have been sending me all kinds of prayers and loving thoughts. I'm very lucky to have such caring relatives all over the world.

My relatives in Denmark, the Johansens (my grandma Helena, my grandfather Agner, my uncle Gus, and my aunt Giga), have been great about sending good healing thoughts across the Atlantic. Giga has organized lots of care packages: Chocolate covered marzipan, a big "bubble" watch, Sleepytime tea, a keychain, blue nylons, ... Helena has sent lots of her lovely art-work, including a collection of envelopes that contain smaller and smaller envelopes! I have lots of memories of good times with these folks, and it's wonderful keeping in touch.

I have some dear friends from an internet group I used to be affiliated with ... We have never met in person, but our friendship is deeper than you might imagine. Many of the members of that group have been supportive to me by sending flowers, ceramic bunny-angels, stuffed animals, cards, a silver pin of dolphins (from Wales!), in addition to tons of emotional support and friendship. Bec, Rachel, Dawn, Laura, Lisa, and many, many others have done really great things to help me overcome what I face in life's challenges.

Here is an assortment of offerings we received after my initial diagnosis: A friend and former teacher of my brother's, Barry Woods, gave me a beautiful framed angel to keep watch over me. It is precious, and I was touched to received such a gift. I feel protected every time I look at it. Our friend (and our cat's vet!) Yvonne van Duin gave me a glass corked bottle which we keep in our kitchen. Cindy Yu, a grader for the course I was teaching at SFU, gave me a pretty blue perfume bottle... My friend Wulf Kollmann and his family in Germany sent me veggie pate, slippers and gummy bears! Our dear friends Jan & Gene Kiss asked their nephew Anthony Fulker to cook us a delicious vegan meal which was delectable! He later provided me with lots of support and guidance in my quest to find the right medical/nutritional/alternative/complementary path. Bhatta and his family sent us a lovely candleholder and beeswax candles.

Janice Penner and her family sent me a guardian angel to pin on my collar. I have worn this often with a feeling of safety and comfort. Raman Uppal and his wife Michelle gave me an ivory buddha figurine, and they also gave me some big, white comfy jammies to wear around the house! Alison Rozsnyai and Grant Higa did a very helpful run to Costco for us. I got a very touching card from a group of classmates who took a PhD teaching methodology course at UBC with me: Ron, Paul, Dora, Chris, Olaf, Sanjeev, Don, Jennifer, and Peter (the prof).

So many people called to offer support and encouragement when I was first diagnosed in 1996. A few that I can remember include the Cimolinos, Mark's sister Patricia Kamstra, Mary Kelly & Keith Freeland, Louise Yako & Jim Storey, Raman Uppal, Nathalie Moyen, Jan Kiss, Graham Olney, Jane Friesen, Claudia Cifelli, Valerie Turtle Haecky, my uncle George and his family, Aslam Anis & Janet Disahjh, Adrianna Bakos, Joe Atta Mensah, Paul Vassallo, Greg and Darlene Vassallo (who sent us flowers), Louvie Edjan, Sandy Herle, ...

Several folks also came by to visit during that initial crazy-period after the diagnosis in 1996. Some that I remember include Shannon Linegar (who came to the hospital and to my home), Christina Flannigan (who brought me a copy of the book "Chicken Soup for the Surviving Soul", Jim Storey & Louise Yako (who brought over soup for us and bubbles for our cat to play with!), Graham Olney (who brought along an inspirational essay by Stephen Jay Gould), Aslam Anis (and his two kids), Mary Kelly & Keith Freeland (and their son Terry), Alison Rozsnyai (who brought a candle), Khang Min Lee (who brought me the Amy Tan book "The Hundred Secret Senses", a book by Paul Reiser, and a pointesettia plant), Nathalie Moyen, Jim Godollei, Iain Currie, Laura Seeking and Cynthia Acheson.

Many people sent cards and letters after my initial diagnosis in 1996, including Ruby Visser, Laura Seeking, my cousin Anna, Claudia Cifelli (along with a pick-me-up bouquet!) Dawn Lawson, the Cimolinos, Khang Min & Soon Aun, Rod Boothby, Dominique & Nicholas, Jane Martin, Roy Silverson, and Alice Chan, Shelley Hladey (who also sent along a very helpful book about visualization), the Faculty of Business at Simon Fraser University (along with a beautiful flower arrangement). The folks at SFU's Faculty of Business just sent me another beautiful flower arrangement (January 1998)!

Our friend Claudia Cifelli came out to Vancouver for a visit from Toronto in August 1997 to help us celebrate the end of chemo! I was feeling so good at that time that I dragged her and Mark on a brutal fast-paced hike around Lake Killarney on Bowen Island. I think they may still be catching their breath!

Linda Mitchell gave me a plush, adorable teddy bear to bring with me to the hospital for my bone marrow transplant. It is so soft I can use it as a pillow under my head! I named him Oliver. Gayle Whetstone also gave me something precious -- a hand-carved sun made from wood that her partner Mo gave to her while she was in the hospital for leukemia treatment. Galye told me that sun has seen everything, and that it will guide me through the rough times ahead. I plan to bring it with me to hang watchfully over my hospital bed during my bone marrow transplant. Along with some other lovely gifts, Ann Wood gave me a beautiful handmade angel which I can hang from my IV drip at the hospital. And during this winter while she and her husband are RV-ing their way through Mexico, she has been mailing me regular letters.

When we learned of my relapse, Mark's colleagues in the Simon Fraser University Economics Department sent us a great basket filled with organic fruits, veggies, and staples. It included pickles, pancake mix, waffles, pasta, oranges, pears, lemons, apples, kiwis, avocadoes, sparkling apple juice, jam, and all kinds of wonderful goodies. Yum! All of this in addition to the flowers they had already sent a year before when I was initially diagnosed.

Some of my Mom's colleagues sent us lovely gifts. Erika McNamara gave us a long-lasting beeswax candle when I was first diagnosed, and when I relapsed she gave us some homemade roasted nuts. Colleen Mauro sent us a lovely arrangement of flowers when I relapsed.

Greg and Darlene Vassallo gave us a big box of chocolates when they found out about my relapse. Our family friend Alex Maier sent us some beautiful flowers. Franco Wong and his wife Eszter Palancz sent me some special lotion to make skin soft and lovely. I hear it is especially good for skin exposed to radiation treatment, so it may come in handy after the transplant (if it turns out I need radiation). I wonder whether any of the lotion will still be left then? :-)

Our friend (and the breeder from whom we acquired our precious cat a few years back), Shelley Hlady, sent us a wonderful care package today (It's January 19, 1998). Our cat was pretty impressed, because right on top was a big set of freshly prepared cat-meals (beef and peas, snapper, chicken and carrots, and more). The cat is already totally blissed out from her first portion. The package also included some toys for the cat. There were treats for me and Mark as well, like a couple of yummy soup mixes, some home-made oatcakes, a selection of pistachio nuts and cashews. And Shelley also included some books, videos, and a puzzle! What a sweetheart!

My friend Christina Kalaw (who has been by my side since junior high school homeroom!) accompanied me to chemotherapy one day, along with her 2 month old baby girl Jordan. They chauffered me, they kept me entertained, and they even took me out to lunch!

Two of my sweet classmates from UBC, Joshua Slive, Lorenzo Garlappi, and Nalinaksha Bhattacharyya (Bhatta), took care of an ugly chore for me after my PhD defence: they packed up all my belongings which had accumulated in my office at UBC during my years of studies! No one likes packing; it sure was nice of them to save me this trouble.

Friends I met through the Hodgkin's listserv, Kate Hughes and Kathy McLaughlin, sent me the wigs they used when their hair fell out from treatment for Hodgkin's! I don't know whether I'll use them (I just may sport the full bald look), but it sure is nice to have friends taking care of all my potential needs! Kate has given me lots of goodies during the time I have known her, in addition to tons and tons of supportive emails. Included among the several care packages she has sent across the Atlantic are books, relaxation tapes, a scarf, a postcard of a protective angel to keep by my bedside in the hospital, and a Violent Femmes cassette!

Ian and Sarah Heselgrave sent me a copy of the book Simple Abundance, along with a really sweet card. It has been years since I have seen these two, but I feel the comfort of their warm wishes.

A dear family friend, Graham Olney, had some beautiful Chinese new year blessings made up for me. There are four sets of blessings -- each is composed of black Chinese characters on thin, red paper. Translations of the blessings read "House will be full of fortune and happiness", "Blessings and fortune will be through the year", "Five blessings (fortune, longevity, health, peace, and happiness) will come to your house", and "Peace and safety will be with you whenever you are going out or coming in". I plan to put some on the walls of my home and some on the walls of my hospital room in the bone marrow transplant unit. These blessing will make the year of the Tiger very lucky for me, indeed.

My friend Ross Corrigan, a Hodgkin's survivor and bone marrow transplant veteran, has been providing lots of moral support for me. I met him during the summer of 1997 while he was undergoing his transplant, and as I prepare for my own transplant he has been willing to answer all sorts of questions and provide practical advice. For example, when I expressed concern about keeping my weight up pre-transplant, he gave me some of the carbo-booster shake mix he used to keep his own weight up in the past. Ross' parents, Frank and Deanna have been great about providing me with moral support as well, all the way from their home in Edmonton. (I met Deanna while she was in Vancouver for Ross' transplant.)

Another Hodgkin's survivor and bone marrow transplant veteran, Gayle Kuss has also been very supportive. I met her just before her summer 1997 transplant, and we have kept in touch by phone since she moved back to her home of Thunder Bay, Ontario. (I met Gayle's mom too, while she was staying in Vancouver during Gayle's transplant.)

My friend Rachel Browne has been a source of long-distance support, from times even before my diagnosis. When we found out I had Hodgkin's, she sent me a beautiful ceramic bunny, a book about women and healing, and a supply of her favorite dark chocolate, Chocolove. Well, Chocolove rapidly became my favorite dark chocolate too, but we can't buy it in Canada. Just before my bone marrow transplant, Rachel sent me more Chocolove, a book "Chocolate for a Woman's Soul", and pictures of her baby boy Colin.

Jesper Thoft-Christensen and Farzi Pourmoetamed are dear friends who live in Toronto. On a trip to Denmark, they saw some beautiful red yarn that reminded them of me, so they bought it, and Farzi spent two weeks knitting me a lovely scarf! They told me to think of myself as being hugged by the two of them whenever I wear it! What a touching gift!

So many people did so many wonderful things for me during the time of my bone marrow transplant (February and March of '98). There is no way I could possibly acknowledge everyone, but I'm going to try! (This is going to be a very long paragraph.) Just before I was admitted to the hospital, my mom Randi gave me a plush toy cat she called Lulu to keep me company while I was in the hospital and away from my own (real) cat Macska. While Lulu wasn't quite as lively or spunky as Macska, she was a lovable reminder of the bundle of fur waiting for me to return home. My Mom visited me almost every day, and she helped me decorate my room really adorably. She brought balloons and red string-up hearts, she gave me a smile angel pin, she ran errands and brought food, and she cut out cellophane hearts to paste on my door and windows. (I got all kinds of compliments on my room during my stay. Folks who worked in the hospital would comment on how much personality my room exhibited. It certainly made a big difference to my state of mind to have a bit of colour on the walls.) Mark visited me every day too, except when he was really sick with a cold. He and my Mom consoled me through a lot of tears. My brother Trevor visited too, and he generously rented me a handy pager to help me deal with folks who wanted to get in touch with me. Instead of handing out the number of the phone in my room, I gave everyone my pager number. That way, I could return calls at my convenience, minimizing the chances of having a nap interrupted. My friend Laura Seeking gave me books to keep me busy. Mary Kelly and Keith Freeland sent me yet another care package filled with books and fun activities. Shelley Hlady sent all kinds of books, puzzles, and food; plus, while I was in the hospital, she sent a care package filled with all kinds of tasty meals for both Mark and our cat. Monique Courdes brought me silk flowers (from Gayle's mom), a silk plant, and freshly squeezed juices, and Monique and Alison brought me Gayle's hot water bottle. Lietta Turnbull brought two cuddling teddy bears from her, Stuart, Melissa, and Gillian, and since she works in the hospital she visited me frequently. Holly Scott brought me a beanie baby, and for my entire hospital stay it sat perched on my IV machine, accompanying me absolutely everywhere. Sarah Sample came over to do therapeutic touch, a healing method which I truly calms the soul and eases the mind. Kathryn Nicholson visited with her guitar, bringing tears to my eyes as I listened to her melodies. Lis Smith brought me a wonderful relaxation cassette that she and Kathryn put together, called "Mousaka and Ripple". It's a tape designed for kids, but it sure hit the spot for me. (It's available for sale at the BC Cancer Agency.) Nathalie Moyen visited frequently, bringing me a roll of Lifesavers each time. She also brought me an adorable teddy bear whom I named Hollinger. He now rests on my bed at home, by the side of his cousin Oliver (the identical-looking but slightly bigger teddy bear Linda Mitchell gave me in December). Yvonne van Duin gave me two kinds of yummy tea. Louise Yako brought me a cassette player, some batteries, and two books on tape to help me pass the time. Peter Frost brought me an inspirational t-shirt. I was given a lovely pewter frame by Patrice Shore. She also brought me an orange bow to wear in memory of Gayle. Erika McNamara gave me a very moving CD called "Crystal Voices". A customer of my mother's, Rita sent me tulips. Although I couldn't have them in my room (due to risk of infection), I was told they looked lovely on the counter at the nurses' station in my ward. Another customer of my mother's, Peter sent me chocolates. Dr. Cindy Clark is the physician filling in during my family doctor's maternity leave, and she came to visit me during my hospital stay, going way beyond the call of duty. Following my transplant, she also frequently called me at home to see how I was doing and to find out if there was anything she might do to help. I already mentioned this above, but I've got to restate that my family doctor, Janet Franiek is an outstanding physician as well. Each time I have seen her throughout my cancer treatment, she has provided friendly emotional support in addition to professional medical care. My oncologist from the cancer agency, Tamara Shenkier took time for a lengthy social visit. She told me funny stories about her kids and did a terrific job distracting my mind at a time when I was at my lowest, emotionally. Deanna Corrigan, mother of Ross, sent me a lovely inspirational plaque. (I met her during Ross' bone marrow transplant last summer, and she and her husband Frank have since kept tabs on my progress.) My cousin Julia sent me pictures of her kids in Ireland and a lucky Irish stone which I kept close by my side. Mark's cousin Liz Krueger sent us tons of pictures from Mark's childhood! When Mark brought the envelope in to the hospital, I spent about an hour crying as we looked through the pictures one-by-one. Mark looked so cute! Daphne Lobb and Janie Brown brought me a lovely framed picture of the Callanish standing stones in Scotland. The picture stayed by my side throughout my hospital stay and it now rests on my desk at home. These standing stones provide the name for the healing retreat I attended last year. Janie was in my room when I had my first adverse reaction to Amphotericin, an anti-fungal drug I had to be given intravenously every night. With her nursing background, she was immediately aware of what was happening. She alerted the hospital staff (so they could give me Demerol to stop the reaction) and she started doing therapeutic touch (along with Monique Courdes who was also there at the time). Amphotericin is routinely called Amphoterrible by nurses, because it is so prone to causing reactions in patients! Darline Miller and Mae Spears visited on several occasions to do therapeutic touch and to simply listen. I looked forward to their company and enjoyed their visits immensely. One day when I called my aunt Carol in a tearful frenzy, she became concerned about my emotional well-being and alerted another relative she has in Vancouver. Her cousin's sister-in-law, named Lisa Bale, quickly came to the rescue! Lisa visited me in the hospital and kept tabs on me by phone after I got back home.

During a period of my hospital stay when I was in the pit of my emotional low, I wrote a note to a bone marrow transplant support email list to which I subscribed, asking for suggestions on how to cope with the isolation and the hardship. I got a lot of responses from people all over North America, telling me how to get through one of the hardest experiences one could possibly try to get through. These people had done it themselves, and they gave me concrete suggestions that really helped me get through each day. To each of them I owe profound thanks. They include David Callahan, Kirsten McKnight, Kip Cleaver, Tim Chennell, "cweg", Scott, Bob Farmer, John Nesci, Dave Kuehl, Mark, Marietta, Carolanne Lang, Charl, Ed West, Jan Thompson, Barbara Krumsee, Lydia Schulze, Gail, Teri Morse, Eugene Leyvi, Louise Black, Kathleen Bond, Beth Leapley, Gary Moon, Lulu Falls, Karen Votaw, and Guy Brooks Bennett. Lots of other folks on the email list also provided words of encouragement at various other points leading up to my transplant, including Becky Gross, Chris Lary, John Nesci, Kevin, Arthur Flatau, Judith A. Miller, Leeora F. Israel, Stuart Anderson, Del, Suzi Breneman, Elaine Kemp, Jan, Angela Jensen, Melanie Weinbender, Perry Farmer, Holly Scott, Susan Hatfield, Marcia Walton, Chuck Hart, Stephen, Lisa Driver, Janet Byler, Pauline, Jane, Kevin L Satterfield, Nick H., Bob and CJ, and Lisa Driver.

So many people sent me get well cards or wrote me letters of encouragement around the time of my transplant. I had these special tokens posted all over my hospital room to remind me of the tremendous support and love surrounding me. I just know I'm leaving a lot out, but some of the folks who sent me cards or letters include the following: Linda Vick, Jackie Osbourne, Shelley Hlady, Bob McGilvray (Bob had a bone marrow transplant of his own just a few weeks before mine, and he sent me several notes, cards, and even a drawing), Gilly Heaps, Yvonne van Duin, Erika McNamara, Patrice Shore, Anthony and Lis Smith, Ann Wood, my mom (I got lots and lots of cards from my mom), Dianne Macfarlane, Julia Wells, my cousin Anna, Jan and Gene Kiss, Laura Seeking, the Turnbulls, Giga Johansen Kate Hughes, Don and Edith Whetstone, Michelle and Raman Uppal, Khang Min Lee and Soon Aun Yip, Helle Michaelsen, Ruby Visser, Frank and Deanna Corrigan, Rachel Browne, Graham Olney, Shannon Linegar, Helena Johansen, the Linegars, Rosilyn Coulson, the Silversons, the Bhattacharyas, Sheila in Ontario, Leslie Escobar, and Jim Storey. The card Jim sent me was a birthday card (to commemorate my new "birthday")! The photo on the front of his card portrayed exactly the way my mouth felt following 6 days of high-intensity chemotherapy, all raw and sore. Somehow the picture made it all laughable. Click here to see the image, reproduced.

March 1998 ... Happy to be back at home, sweet home. My first visitor at home was Madhuri Honeyman. She came over to do therapeutic touch, it was amazingly comforting at a time when I was very fragile. As she snuck out the door, she left behind a copy of her sweet little book "Heart Hero". (She wrote and illustrated the book herself, and it's often available for a just couple of bucks at Banyen Books.) David Stymiest sent me an M&M care package, filled with various kinds of M&Ms and a 1 foot tall plush red stuffed M&M. (Not edible, shucks!) When David and I went to school together in France, we entered a contest to win a tour of the M&M factory. Although we didn't win the contest, David's gift was sure a nice reminder of past good times. Lani and Steve Altschuler kindly sent me a book on CD to help me pass the time. This was certainly helpful as I still was not able to focus very well on lengthy written materials. Ronnica and Jon Matousek sent Mark and me a video of their daughter Cassidy Jo to make us giggle. Franco Wong and Eszter Palancz sent me additional supplies of the healing lotion they sent me previously. This lotion, as it turns out, was able to melt away unbelievably bad scars I had after surgery (to put the Hickman line into my chest and to extract the marrow from my bones). They also sent Mark and me a couple of caps from Berkeley which we love to wear. Dianne Macfarlane came over for tea during a Vancouver visit, and she brought with her a lovely frame in the shape of an angel plus the tiniest card I have ever seen. Kate Hughes sent me a care package filled with a small purse, a brooch, and a small statue. In another care package, she sent a book called "The Warrior Queen", plus she lent me a bunch of the hats she wore during her own chemo treatment last year. Jan and Gene Kiss came over for a visit, bringing with them a lovely ceramic angel ("You can't have too many angels!") and a CD of wonderfully soothing music. Gilly Heaps kindly gave me some calendula lotion which has been helping me restore my skin to its previous level of softness. The hospital environment was really tough on my outsides as well as my insides, and Gilly came to the rescue! (One of the ingredients listed on the label of this lotion is love.)

April 1998 ... Bill Nelems and Lis Smith gave me one of the first copies of their relaxation tape, "Sunset Sunrise", for enhancing the immune system. This tape was made by them, along with Birgit Geiser, to commemorate the opening of the new Cancer Centre for the Southern Interior. Jim Storey gave me a terrific book called "Cats are Not Peas". When he saw it in a bookshop, he immediately thought of our cat, who loves to eat green peas by the truckload. I read the book immediately! It was a fascinating book on genetics, motivated by the author's curiosity about the rare occurrence of male calico cats. Helen Low sent me a sweet card and a package of soothing aromatherapy bath salts. I love baths ... Dawn Lawson sent me another of her special care packages, filled with a pretty stone candleholder and candle, some flower seeds, and a little Easter bunny. Harold Schellekens came over for a visit, and he brought Mark and me a personally-made coupon for two coffee beverages and a snack at the fashionable Yaletown coffee bar of our choice! What a sweetie! Ruby Visser sent a beautiful Easter floral arrangement to our home. What a thoughtful way to brighten up my days! My Mom also brought us some easter flowers and some peach-coloured roses. You can never have too many flowers in the house.

May 1998 ... Helena Mullins came over for tea, bearing a most gracious and unexpected gift from the heart: a framed native art print called "Serenity" which is so fitting. This gift from Helena, her husband Vasant, and their boys is gorgeous. Mark and I have chosen just the perfect spot where it will hang in our home, reminding us of how many caring people like Helena and Vasant have held us in their thoughts.

August 1998 ... Mary and Keith sent me two kinds of salsa to celebrate my remission! Janet Disahjh and her daughter Sabrina made me some beeswax candles, a gift from their whole family (including Aslam and Sharine). My mom made us some yummy Hungarian stuffed peppers (twice!) to help us out during the time of my neck and back troubles. She also did some grocery shopping runs for us. My brother Trevor helped us out with housework and lots of other stuff (like helping us buy a new car). Peter Frost bought me a copy of the book "Full Catastrophe Living" and even had it sent over by courier before he left for a trip! Both he and my friend Patrice Shore recently gave me copies of relaxation tapes based on that book. Our friend in the Fraser Valley, Shelley Hlady, sent us a care package filled with food! Corn, berries, tomatoes, homemade stuffed peppers, and all sorts of goodies ... Alas, there were no treats for the cat this time, but Mark and I sure didn't mind. Shelley is the breeder we got our cat Macska from a few years back.

September 1998 ... Jennifer Thompson brought me some adorable shorts she bought me this summer. Helena Mullins brought a CD of her favorite Irish music. My aunt Giga sent me a really great notebook with a picture of peppers on the cover, and she also sent a pendant of the yin/yang symbol. Lisa Leon in southern California sent a huge care package filled with goodies for my body, mind, and spirit. This from a woman who is recovering from chemo treatment herself! Rachel Browne also sent me a great care package filled with tons of good stuff, including the most incredible vegan chocolate. Yum!

October 1998 ... A friend from the relaxation group, Dorothy, gave me a beanie baby named Pounce (a cat)!

Lots of other people have done really great things for us during the past two years. There are so many acts I haven't acknowledged on this web site: conversations, visits, cards, letters, gentle hugs, gestures, thoughts and prayers ... I am grateful for all the caring acts and gifts of generosity, and I try to make sure people know this. I have been immensely lucky to be surrounded by so much love and kindness.